THE SBI: Special Smiles Unit
PARKVILLE PRECINCT &
SMILE CORRECTIONS FACILITY
Where guilty smiles get justice.
You have the right to regain smiling.
HAVE YOU OR A LOVED ONE BEEN A VICTIM OF SMILE THEFT?
Our Underground, Off The Record Task Force restores smile confidence one case at a time. We handle Smile Crimes such as:
Missing Teeth
Yellow Staining + Dull & Dark Discoloration
Possession of Plaque & Tartar
Nude & Naked Smiles
Chipped/ Broken Teeth
Crowded & Crooked Teeth
You've spent Years Hiding your Smile, Feeling Insecure or the worst of them all functioning in deep smile depression.
If so, your case deserves to be investigated and your smile is guilty.
Our Special Smile Unit is dedicated to expunging your record of smile neglect.
You have the right to regain smiling
The SBI: Special Smiles Unit is currently accepting new classifed cases on a limited basis.
Getting drunk in love with your smile again begins with one report.
File your Smile Report and let the investigation begin.
Our Underground, Off The Record Task Force restores smile confidence one case at a time. We handle Smile Crimes such as:
Missing Teeth
Yellow Staining + Dull & Dark Discoloration
Possession of Plaque & Tartar
Nude & Naked Smiles
Chipped/ Broken Teeth
Crowded & Crooked Teeth
You've spent Years Hiding your Smile, Feeling Insecure or the worst of them all functioning in deep smile depression.
If so, your case deserves to be investigated and your smile is guilty.
Our Special Smile Unit is dedicated to expunging your record of smile neglect.
You have the right to regain smiling
The SBI: Special Smiles Unit is currently accepting new classifed cases on a limited basis.
Getting drunk in love with your smile again begins with one report.
File your Smile Report and let the investigation begin.
THE SBI'S MOST WANTED
4 SMILE SUPSPECT SLOTS REMAINING
The Jewel Heist Division and Our Lead Smile Detective are looking for Naked Smiles to lace with the diamonds recovered from a previous Jewel Heist. These Diamonds will be specifically and precisely placed around the rim of your tooth. There are several shades, shapes and cuts of diamonds available.
WHO WE SERVE?
FIRST TIME OFFENDERS: New Suspects who hate their smile and want a new smile-dentity or New Suspects who love their smile but want to enhance it.
SUSPECTS: Our General Smile Holders. Chosen for a specific targeted service
REPEAT OFFENDERS: Returning Guests. This isn't your first lock- up but you don't hold a Key Witness Membership.
KEYWITNESS MEMBERS: PAID MEMBER In Smile Protective Custody and On Smile Probation with all of the Smile Perks.
FIRST TIME OFFENDERS: New Suspects who hate their smile and want a new smile-dentity or New Suspects who love their smile but want to enhance it.
SUSPECTS: Our General Smile Holders. Chosen for a specific targeted service
REPEAT OFFENDERS: Returning Guests. This isn't your first lock- up but you don't hold a Key Witness Membership.
KEYWITNESS MEMBERS: PAID MEMBER In Smile Protective Custody and On Smile Probation with all of the Smile Perks.
THIS WEEK'S MOST NOTORIOUS SMILE CASES
KEY WITNESS MEMBERSHIP
Protective Custody & Probation for Your New Smile-dentity,
KEY WITNESS MEMBERSHIP
Month to Month Protective Custody & Probation
Month to Month Protective Custody & Probation
Access to our CLASSIFIED Services
Guaranteed Plea Deal for Payment Arrangements
24/7 MEMBERS ONLY Reduced Rates on All Services
Extended Warranties on All Services
Immediate Case Processing
FREE Service Upgrades Monthly
Referral Rewards as Direct Smile Cash On Your Books
Priority Lock- Ups & 911 Emergency Access
$49
BREAKING NEWS: THIS JUST IN
UNDERGROUND SMILE ORGANIZATION EXPOSED
Mon, Jul 27, 2026
www.theejewelrybarbaltimore.com
Authorities continue investigating an underground organization accused of releasing dangerously confident citizens back into society. Officials have linked the organization to hundreds of cases involving excessive smiling, public confidence, mirror addiction, and unexplained improvements in self-esteem. The organization calls itself... THE SBI: SPECIAL SMILES UNIT. The Questions that need answers: What is The SBI? Why are so many citizens voluntarily reporting themselves and complying to...
Authorities continue investigating an underground organization accused of releasing dangerously confident citizens back into society. Officials have linked the organization to hundreds of cases involving excessive smiling, public confidence, mirror addiction, and unexplained improvements in self-esteem. The organization calls itself... THE SBI: SPECIAL SMILES UNIT. The Questions that need answers: What is The SBI? Why are so many citizens voluntarily reporting themselves and complying to...